Then by all means, continue reading and hopefully you like a lot of foul language becouse there will be some Graphic words here (and some really shitty grammar misstake also) - hey no one is perfect. Just take a look at this top 15 list and it might give you some smiles, raised eye brows, naughty feelings, disgusting feelings and that what movies do to me. I want it all and I tend to like everything from any genre - alltough as you can see, majority are horror.
15. Mezzo forte
”You´re lucky. I was going to carve up your face.”
That sounds like an extremely violent anime doesn´t it?
I can understand those who think that and those who also (or even ”only”) see this as an ”poor excuse” for showning some sexscenes ….and a gangrape. But, director/screenwriter/storyboard and animation director Yasuomi Umetsu actually have created an actionpacked movie. Mezzo forte is about Mikura and her two loyal and sometimes dumd/easily scared buddies Pops and Harada who get an contract of kidnapping an ruthless manager to a baseball team. Sure they take the job, but something bad is about to happen to them.
If you feel that japanese anime/hentai movies are something for you, then Mezzo forte might be the best one to start exploring the wonderful and sometimes nasty side of hentai.
14. Slapshot
”Old time hockey!!”
Paul Newman may bee excused, but this is the Hanson brothers movie. They are so damn hillarious in this that I think I still got pain in my stomach since last time I saw this.
Slapshot may not be the funniest movie ever made but since it by some odd reson came out during the Broad street bullies (The nickname for Philadelphia Flyers in NHL) made their way into history books I consider this to be the best sports movie Ever. Hey they even attacked the audience while some tried to play hockey..and yes I am talking about the real Phillies. The Hanson Brothers they just wanted that Old time hockey…and their glasses and foiled hands.. Classic.
Paul Newman is an oldtimer hockey player (he was actually pretty young in this one) who soon enough gets to know that the team he plays for is about to be sold to another town. So in order to get the buyers not so interresting, he hier the Hansons. Now that does the team more interresting for the buyers and the audience loves it and so do I.
13. Shurayukihime (Lady Snowblood)
”I am a woman who walks at the brink of life and death…”
Yuki (wich litteraly means Snow or winter in japanese) are borned in a prison and the only reson she is borned is so she can kill the men who raped her mother and killed her mothers husband and son.
If the premise sounds familiar then you´re right. Quentin Tarantino made his own version of this and named it Kill Bill.
Kill Bill is considered a masterpiece by those who have seen it, if you ask me? The closest I got to see kill Bill was when I stood in the line at the teathers waiting to buy a ticket and a bunch of guys came out and said ”I loved the fight when Uma killed the japanese girl”
I went out from the cinema and never went back. The reason why I wanted to see the movie was basicly to see Chiaki Kuriyama as Gogo Yubari. Yes it may seem strange that I havent seen the movie becouse of that, so sue me then.
And there is no way that Uma is as hot, cool and ice cold as Meiko Kaji is, on that I will Never agree. Never.
12. Ginî piggu: Akuma no jikken (Guinea pig: the devils experiment)
”Even the japanese found this so disturbing that they banned it!”
Infact it was banned and confiscated since the serial killer Tsutomu Miyazaki, who reportedly re-enacted scenes from the films as a part of his crimes.
Some men capture a girl and their only intention is to make her stuffer and die.
Is this really a movie?
Some might consider this to be a sick, evil twisted peace of shit.
I agree, without that shit part that is. Well, let´s be honest. This is more or less beating, humiliating, suffering, provocating and sick. And the sick part is maby that there is no real reson behind it whatsoever. On the other hand, how does anyone justify this? Can you put up a reson for doing a movie like this?
Charlie Sheen sure couldn´t and he was so damn sure that he have witnessed a snuff movie, so he called FBI. Charlie, we know you have problems now with beating your wife and all the other shit you are doing (and I ain´t speaking of his role in the smash hit show 2 and a half men).
If you by some strange wierd reason like to see a woman getting beaten like shit Ginî piggu will be the ultimate movie for you - you sick basterd.
11. Môjû (Blind beast)
In 1931 Rampo Edugawa started the whole franchise thing that now are called Torture porn.
So, that might scare some people off, torture porn is not something you watches and enjoys if you are not…???
Remember that this was first published back in 1931 in Asahi national newspaper. And in 1969 Aysuzo Masumura (the director), Yoshio Shirasaka (screenwriter)
Made this beautiful and daring (for that time) movie. No, there is not brutaly graphic violence in this and maby that is why Môjû is such a wonderful movie. More of an artistic movie, but the actors.. They are phenomenal.
It starts as an thypical horror movie, goes into a drama and ends in insanity.
10. The elephant man
”I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!”
John Hurt in his biggest role of his career, maby even the best male performance of all time (might be that Daniel Day Lewis was better in My left foot). The sad and warm story of John Merrick, he has lived for real, and his struggle for humanity. The movie is shot in black and white and it is so beautifully shot, masterful directed by David Lynch and you can clearly see that David, he surely Loves the characters in his movies. If you don´t cry when watching this movie you simply don´t have any soul.
9. Shichinin no samurai (Seven samurai)
”What's the use of worrying about your beard when your head's about to be taken?”
The master of chinamotography Akira Kurosawa at an age of 44 made this masterpiece, a movie that shall forever be looken ufon as the breaktrough of Toshirô Mifune. Possibly the greatest actor of his time, infact he was so famus and still is, that a danish movie was named after him to celebrate him (Mifune).
Toshirô is off course playing the half/semi crazy samurai Kikuchiyo. And man, does the actors of today have something to learn from that role. He more or less own every scene he is in. His phenomenal acting, his charisma, the sound of his voice.. So perfect.
As much as Robert De Niro is forever linked to Martin Scorsese and Johnny Depp is linked to Tim Burton.. No, that´s not even close -but you get my point Toshirô and Akira was The team.
More on Shicinin no samurai, some farmers have had it with the attacks on their crop that are being destroyed. So, there elder sends out some villagers to hire a bunch of samurais to help them protect their small village, they only find seven of them - but that might be enough even if the thieves are outnumbering them.
8. Dogme #1-Festen (The celebration)
”Father, I have written two speaches and now you can chose wich one of them I´ll read..”
Helge gather his big family to celebrate his 60th birthday out in the big family house. They are all there, his sons, his wife, his daughter, his staff… but someone is missing and we get to know why and who..
Now this party will soon enough get way out of hand.
This danish movie is a masterpiece, well that word ”masterpiece” is used a lot, but in this case it is something that should be taken serious.
The acting is top class, the script is daring, provocative and don´t lack anything that make this movie feeling bomring. It´s not one of the most entertaining movies you´ll see but if you looking for movies that will keep you interrested the entire time, Festen is something you can´t afford to miss.
7. Ringu
”Ryuji? When it's time for me to die... Stay with me.”
Hideo Nakata scared an whole world, me included, Wien he made Ringu with is based on a novel from Kôji Suzuki.
Sadako Yamamura is now a legend in her own time. As much as Jason (Friday the 13th franchise), Freddy Kreuger (Nightmare on Elm Street - wich I´ll go into in a later post), Michael Myers (Halloween), Pinhead (Hellraiser) - they all are modern horror icons. The thing with Sadako (wich actually means Chess child- Sada=chess ko=child) is that her background is not necceserly given away at once and she ain´t a killing slashing lunatic either. She is only, different from all the other children, oh and she is dead also and a konpaku (ghost).
The basic story is that if you watch the video tape of this well out in the woods, you get an phonecall that tells you that you are gonna die in seven days….hey, God (according to the bible) did make the earth in seven days (alltough he rested on the seventh day) so there might be some explenations to the seven day thing.. ^_^
Ringu was also the movie that started the whole new wave of japanese horror movies in the late 90s. An wave we see still to this day.
6. Seijyuu Den / Inju Seisen (Twin Angels. Sometimes also named Twin Dolls)
”I´m a prince, you better obey me or else…bleeeeeh”
Prince Onimaru tells one of many perverted sex demons that he and only he is the rightful prince.
This is actually a 6 part series (later on re released as a 2 part series) and it contains a lot of tentacles. This is maby the best hentai/tentacle of all time. Yes, Urotsukidoji is maby more famous but that hasn´t got the innocent, the humor and the great nasty sex scenes as Inju seisen has.
Ai and Mai are twins (hence the title) and they are both ninjas from the Morouko clan and their job is to protect Onimaru from the perverted sex demon. Alongside with Ai and Mai, Dekonobu is his loyal bodyguard.
Onimaru has been hidden inside a young boys body (approximently a 10 year old boy) to fool the perverted sex demons, but now, they have found him and Ai and Mai most show everything, infact they got naked a lot, of their skill to protect poor Onimaru.
As stated above, Inju seisen has a lot of horny tentacles in it. But there are also more to the story… well not much to be honest. I simply love this, there´s not much alse to say; Go on and get this - if you can find it still.
5.Wo hu cang long (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
”I am just playing around”
Jen in her cocky attitude, played by the phenomenal ZiYi Zhang, adresses her superior skill to her long time master Jade Fox (Pei Pei Cheng). We who have seen this movie, we absolutely love that line and the scene.
As I did mention before (in the top 10 movies of the decade) Wo hu cang long made me cry. Not only is it a heartbreaking story it is also one of the most beautiful movies of all time. It is poetic not only in what all the cast say, the fighting scenes and the incredible scenery is breathtaking.
4.Cannibal holocaust
”It´s better to rest in the warm stomach of a friend, then lie in the cold ground. ”
With a tagline like that you gotta love (or hate this movie). So what makes this movie so great?
It is not only an masterfully shot movie, it still today are talked about - not only for the brutal animal killing wich unfortunatly is real. Cannibal holocaust has also been in court for being accused to be an snuff movie. Not many movies has chocked people like cannibal holocaust has and still do.
3.The exorcist
”In here,. With us.”
Reagan (Linda Blair) lives with her mother - Ellen Burstyn - and something or someone changes Reagan.
Everyone, I guess, have allready seen this and rightly so. Therefor I wont go deeper into what the movie is about. Instead I´ll give some of the stories (truth and sometimes it may be urban legends about the recording of the movie).
During the shooting of the movie a lot of things happened, a lot of strange things.
Ellen Burstyn says that she was pushed by some unsen force into the wardrobe during a scene where Reagan/the demon later on slams the door. The filmcrew says that ”she flew trough the air by something..”
Close relatives to people in the staff died and or got mysteriously sick during the making of this movie.
Curtains, also mysteriously was let on fire on various occasions.
When the movie was yet once again put up onto the big screen in 2001 (This time called Directors cut) some new terrifying things happened. Jason Miller, who played father Damien Karras, died in an heart attack. Once again the rumors was out that The exorcist was an possesed movie. Had the devil or some other demons something to do with all the things that have happened?
Max Von Sydow, who played Father Merrin, has said that filming the exorcist was the most troubled movie he ever have made - and that goes from a man who have worked with Ingmar Bergman - so, you go figure.
And in a split first place.....
1.Babe - the galant pig
”The Boss's husband's just playing a little game with you. Believe me, sooner or later, every pig gets eaten. That's the way the world works. Oh, I haven't upset you, have I? ”
Now this is The Big eye brow raiser I was talking about. Have I lost my mind, or is this list considered a big laugh?
No, absolutely Not.
I Love this movie and the feelings it gives me and what it says about life.
Everyone have heard, or maby even seen this movie and surely thinks that ”oh yeah the movie is about a pig who are somehow cute and he helps his boss” (James Cromwell - he should have been nominated atleast for his role).
To me this is much deeper then that.
Let me explain, you may be in situations in your life that may not fit you.
People may also try their best to tell you that you do Not belong here. This movie shows that you may conquer anything even if no one believs in you. Ok ok I get it it´s a funny loving family- or even maby only a kids -movie.
You have this little pig who manage to teach sheeps better then the trained sheepdogs does.
For me this movie is as brilliantly warm as it is funny. Yes I cry like a baby everytime when I see this and I ain´t ashamed of it. Even the creators of South park said it; ”Babe is the best movie ever made”
They might have been ironich about that, I ain´t.
1.Martyrs
”She wasn´t raped. We know that atleast…”
Only minutes into the movie we get this quote and atleast I started to wonder; What the hell have they done to her?
This built the tension of the movie untill it can´t get anymore horrifying, disturbing and great and this is only the start of this monster..
But it still gives me the same feeling everytime I hear that quote. I feel ill, nervous and curious for what the director/screenwriter Pascal Laugier is about to show us. And I can´t take my eyes or my mind of or away from the screen, how disturbing, strange and nasty things get, I can´t stop watching.
No comments:
Post a Comment